a beach groove story

morning beach yoga salute to haystack rock

my giant starfish buddy baskin in the sun from his tide pool home

a lovely cannon beach side avenue

decisions, decisions... let's do both

hemlock branch clusters hang high overhead

the deep blue sea

our first beach sunset at the oregon coast

tree stumps wider than colin is tall

oswall beach cove

rock cairns keep a watchful eye along the shoreline

deep in the brush

mmmmmmmmm

breaking waves on manzinita

a fine day

*original photos

the shiitake incident

On Day 3, I was at New Seasons picking up more lemons as well as some groceries for the rest of the family.  One thing on the list: Mushrooms.  I walked over to the mushrooms.  There were beautiful shelves of bulk mushrooms sitting out in open refrigerated air.  The little shiitakes were staring at me.  So, POP, in went one right into my mouth.  The flavor was so intense of nutty, woody, earthiness.  Phenomenal.  I swallowed it down and the flavor continued to linger in the back of my mouth, so woody, so earthy, so strong.  Then I realized, oh s*&%t, I've EATEN a mushroom.  Completely having forgotten I was on a cleanse, and hence, not eating solid food.  Oh well.

On the drive home I began to get incredibly hungry.  Its amazing was one little bite of food will do to kick start your metabolism.  I got home and made a lemonade right away.  Standing in the kitchen, I noticed a squiggly line in my right eye.  I took my glasses off.  Put them back on.  Covered my right eye.  Covered my left eye.  Was it my right eye?  I made another lemonade with some struggle to figure out how to do it.  The line was still there.  Was it getting worse.

"I have to sit down," I said. I sat down.  "I need some water.  Can you bring me some water, please?"  I tried to use my phone but I couldn't really read the screen.  At this point my family was asking if I was alright.  Saying that maybe I should eat something.

Was it the mushroom!?  All mushrooms are fungus.  Perhaps on an empty stomach that hadn't digested solid food in 4 days now had taken in the fungus so quickly I was hallucinating?  I drank some almond milk, which didn't seem to help and waited it out.  The "hallucination" lasted about 20 minutes.  After I felt back to normal and it never happened again the entire rest of the cleanse.

Hmmm....

photo source: wikipedia

My friend John mentioned that when he's done Master Cleanses in the past, he has noticed things he does without thought as well, much like my popping a mushroom in my mouth at the grocery store.  Another benefit of the cleanse: becoming aware of our automatic impulses to do things.  "It can really help with awareness of other blind reactions floating around our psyche." This helps bring us to the present moment so we can truly live in it.  Thanks, John!

day 6 : the crux

This cleanse was definitely a journey that had it's ups and downs.  However, day 6 proved to be the most frustrating, mentally.  I was over half way done but it felt like I had soooo much longer to go.  My mom made stuffed orzo peppers for dinner.  I took a tiny taste of the sauce and became so agitated and angry that I wasn't eating it.  The flavors were rich, full and complex.  The smell  of them cooking alone was composed of layers of spice and warm tones.  I was bitter.

After dinner Colin and I took off for a show.  It was a friend of a friend's rege-tronic band at Lauralthirst.  I drank lots of decaf tea; (they luckily had a grand selection!) Usually live music makes me swoon, swirl and twirl.  They were good but I found it hard to get into.  I was tired.  I was cold.  I was fading fast.  We left by midnight and I proceeded home to lay in bed and cry.

I think it was more of my mind mentally missing eating and drinking.  It was like some part of me was missing, a part of me I don't really need.  But I was clinging to it like a sad child and making me miserable. I cried to let it out, to let it go.  Releasing it to the universe and adopting a new perspective I was not yet aware of at the time:

Releasing: "I want that, but I can't have that."
Embracing: "I can have that, but I don't want that."

The next day I awoke feeling alert, alive, excited for the day.  I accepted it was day 7, that I was getting closer but I still had some days to come, and of course the phasing out as well.  While getting ready for the day, I watched some documentaries that helped me to realize my changing outlook.

All available on Netflix:
-Vegucated
-Fat, Sick, & Nearly Dead
-Hungry for Change

I thought I'd seen enough health food movies to see them all and read enough books to know it all.  However, I learned a lot from these. I highly recommend them.  They gave me the will power to finish strong over the last days of my cleanse, and they were funny, good stories that made sense and kept me watching. 

day 5 : the 1/2 way point

Yesterday (Day 4) I awoke feeling alert a bit before I needed to get ready for work and felt like cleaning.  Me?  Cleaning?  In the morning?  I even made my bed.  That literally hasn't happened in months.  I proceeded to work, where the restaurant had the busiest Thursday I've seen yet to date.  We persevered, had some fun, and made some money while the sun majestically shown through the front windows.  Afterward, I attended a "Detox Happy Hour" yoga class at Yo Yo Yogi and I felt surprisingly strong, flexible and able to really gettttt---innnntooooo---- it.  Great class.

That night my grandmother came over for dinner, so of course I had to explain to her in some simplicity of why I wasn't eating the extravagant salmon dinner my mother had prepared.  She found my explanation of the Master Cleanse rather repulsive, but she still loves me.

Today is Day 5!  The end of today, I am 1/2 way done.  This morning, I went and bought 2nd giant bottle of Syrup and a couple more packages of limes to see me through to the end.  I've also began to buy food I want to eat when this is all over like raw ginger snap cookies!  But I'm trying to control myself there as well.  I actually feel like this cleanse will not end and just "all be over".  It will stick with me for sometime.  Doing something for 10 days, for me, is long enough to become apart of me in someway, for sometime after the happening.  In this case, I feel it is the true me is surfacing and there's no smacking it down too quickly. 

When I'm here, I'm here.

day 3 : skiing

View from the top of Mt. Hood

Today, I couldn't pass up a beautiful day on the mountain just because I was on a cleanse.  So the cleanse came to the mountain!  I only skied the afternoon and took a couple of breaks to pound some lemonade made from my concentrate I pre-made this morning.  The skiing was definitely making me hungry!  Some hot spiced tea at the end of the day really hit the spot...

Just Chillin by the Fire Pit...

day 2 : so many lemons

Yesterday, the first day, was not too hard!  Except when my chef/owner at the restaurant I work at, Verde Cocina, made me dinner!  A local Cotiga Cheese Quessadilla with lots of delicious grilled vegies, eek!  I just didn't have the heart to tell him I wasn't actually eating food for the time being.  I thanked him enthusiastically and snuck it into a to-go box for some lucky family member at home... and downed a tasty lemonade to compensate.

I don't feel physically hungry, but I do want to eat just for the pleasure of eating.  The smells and sights of deliciously healthy foods do make my mouth water and I can almost pretend I'm eating them just to put the craving at bay.  Today, I found myself swooning over my two favorite food blogs, HalfBakedHarvest.com by my friend Tieghan in Colorado, and TangaMango.com by my friend Sue here in Portland.  Oh my, the things I will cook when this is all over.  But for the time being, I feel just fine, and this all just seems to be a big test of patience.

Since yesterday was Day 1, it was also Night 1 to take the herbal laxatives (I'm using Swiss Kriss).  They recommend starting with 4 and adjusting from there.  This is to help loosen the matter from your digestive walls during your sleep so that when you do the salt water flush in the morning, there is loose matter to literally flush out.  However, I was up after sleeping for only a few hours and then a few more time throughout the night running to the bathroom.

I think I'll try just 2 tablets tonight...

day 1 : lemonade, wow!

Today is my first day of lemonade!  I just downed my first glass and am happy to find it is pretty tasty. It is snowing outside so I am also starting my day with a decaf Indian Spice Yogi Tea.

One Serving of the Lemonade:
2 Tbl Fresh-squeezed Organic Lemon Juice
2 Tbl 100% Pure Organic Grade B Maple Syrup
1/10 tsp Ground Organic Cayenne Pepper
1 Cup (8 oz) Purified Water
*Drink immediately for optimum live enzyme intake and so the cayenne pepper doesn't steep and make it too spicy!
*It is recommended to drink 6 - 12 glasses of the lemonade each day.  I think I will shoot for 10 today and see how it goes.

I work at 4pm today so I will bring "concentrate" and my cayenne to work to make lemonade to down whenever I'm hungry.

My Out n' About Cleanse Kit!

Concentrate:
2 Tbl Fresh-squeezed Organic Lemon Juice
2 Tbl 100% Pure Organic Grade B Maple Syrup
*Multiply by number of lemonades you plan to make in that same day.  To make one lemonade from the concentrate, pour 4 Tbl concentrate with 1 cup of water, add cayenne and drink immediately.
*They say to store the concentrate in a dark, cool, glass container

ancient yogi salt water cleanse

Today, is my first day of the actual cleanse!  I am starting my day with the salt water flush to see how it goes.  This part of the cleanse is optional but can be practiced every morning.  If successfully completed, it literally washes out your digestive system.  The salt is not digestible, therefore it just passes through the system without stopping for any reason.  This is why drinking ocean water while stranded on a ship will actually make you more dehydrated!  Now we know.

livingsutra.com

*The salt water flush was a tactic used by ancient yogis to clear out their systems, and is still used today.  Another way they cleared their digestive tracts was by swallowing a long piece of fabric and allowing it to pass through the system.  The salt water cleanse sounds much easier when compared to the long piece of fabric...

1) Start with a quart (32oz) warm water and 2 tsp of the fine ground unprocessed sea salt.
2) This must be done on an empty stomach!
3) Make sure you used non-iodized salt (so not table salt) or it won't work

Chug it!  I stood in the mirror and watched the water level going down in my glass bottle to motivate me to keep going.  I got successfully half way through and took a break for 10 minutes before going back to finish.  This was due to fear of throwing it all up.  I did experience some salty burps.  The tummy will rumble and you will have 3-7 bowel movements of the solution plus solid matter that has been stuck in your system for years or even decades!  Holy wow.  For me, it took about 30 minutes to get these going.

phase 3 : orange juice

I slept in today but awoke feeling energized and motivated.  Today is orange juice day!  I have purchased two bags of organic "juice oranges".  I am supposed to drink 2 liters of orange juice today in order to sustain myself.  Since I have the last 2 1/2 hours of the yoga workshop today, I will be adding some 100% pure maple syrup to my breakfast batch in order to get some extra calories.

I bought my oranges fresh the day before orange-juice-day.  I didn't refrigerate them to keep the enzymes thriving inside.  Before cutting each one in half to juice, I roll it on the counter to loosen the juice and enzymes from the rind.

One orange made about 50 ml of juice... this is going to take a lot of oranges!

So it took me the whole bag of 14 oranges to make 500 ml of orange juice.  Now I'm adding 2-3 tbl 100% Pure Grade B Maple Syrup for my calories before my class.  It is sooooo gooood :)

phase 2 : liquefied live foods

phasing in today to liquids.  i have been eating sufficient smoothies/ squeezed juice combinations for each meal and it has kept me from feeling hungry.  however, i definitely have the urge to eat solid foods.  especially helping cook dinner around the kitchen, or even opening the fridge at all!

my day...

breakfast : smoothie of home-made pumpkin puree, one apple, frozen blue berries, juice squeezed from 3 oranges, cinnamon, maple syrup, 5 ice cubes

snack : giant can of coconut water

lunch : beet, cucumber, celery, carrot juice fresh squeezed for me at Whole Foods, plus a spirulina and kale boosters!

dinner : 1) smoothie of field greens, one pear, 2 stalks of celery, juice of 3 oranges, cinnamon, juice of 1/2 lime  2) one half spaghetti squash baked purred with vegetable broth & crushed red pepper

phase 1 : live foods

the live foods diet

Today I begin to phase into my Master Cleanse.  This involves eating only live foods.  This means no meat, dairy, or processed foods.  I tend to use a lot of oils (olive & coconut) when cooking, so I am cutting oils out today, along with salt.  I will be eating at least 60% organic veggies, the rest organic fruits and drinking lots of pure water.  I will be cooking some of the produce and eating some raw.

My lunch today... this yin-yanging Spaghetti Squash baked with crushed black pepper.

Isn't it funny how when when you outright decide not to eat certain things, your house seems completely full of them?  My family has still has Christmas candy, fudge and pasta left overs galore just staring at me every time I turn a corner.  Yikes.  Best watch myself.

purify thyself

There have been times in my life when I have truly felt pure.  When pure, I wake up with the sun and get out of bed onto light feet.  I feel alive in each moment and in that moment entirely.  I more water than anything else, if anything else and eat a plethora of veggies.  I meditate and do yoga daily.  Oh, what I aspire to be as this pure being!

These times of true purity come with discipline stemming from passion and careful consideration.  In 2012, there was a time a felt pure, it was one month, and that month was May.  Since May, I have come along way.  I sleep in many hours after the sun rises.  When I awake, I go back to sleep and when I finally do get up out of my way-too-comfortable bed, I feel heavy in my body.  I continue the day starting with a glass of water and a healthy, plant-based, protein breakfast.  By lunch, the corn, and processed foods begin to seep into the meals.  By dinner, I am eating white flours, cheeses and drinking scrumptious micro brews.  Oh no!  I have forgotten to stretch or meditate today.  I decide to watch TV, where I fall asleep in a chair.  Then wake up in the darkest part of night to move so sluggishly back to my bed.  The cycle repeats.

Today, I am breaking that cycle.  I am now on a journey to purify thyself.  To shed the extra weight, the extra sleep, the extra intakes, and the laziness!  All those things that are not a part of me and do not aid in my spiritual life are being let go. I have decided on a kick-butt cleanse to whip me back into MYSELF.  This is known to many as the Master Cleanse.

Preparing for the Master Cleanse

Some things to gather ahead of time:
1. Organic Ground Cayenne Pepper
2. 100% Pure Organic Maple Syrup, Grade B
3. Fine Ground Sea Salt: unprocessed and unbleached, only dried and ground
4. Herbal Laxative Tablets (I'm using Swiss Kriss)
5. Non-Caffeinated Herbal Teas: This is the only cheat so I got two yummy teas I know I love, Indian Spice, and Green Tea Decaf from Yogi Teas
6. A BPA-free water bottle.  I love my glass Life Factory water bottle because there is no risk of toxins coming off into my water and it has a silicone sleeve so that when I drop (which I do), it doesn't break.  You will want to have pure water with you at all times.
7. VEGGIES! and some fruits for a couple days-worth of eating.  The phasing in and out of the cleanse calls for these lovely live foods.

Some Tips from Previous Attempters:
*If you are taking any medication, the cleanse can flush it through you before it even does its job.  This can lead to withdrawal sickness within the first day of the actual cleanse.  Ladies, I don't know if this applies to oral contraceptives, but I would use a back-up contraceptive the month of your cleanse just in case!
*I am refraining from very strenuous activity during the cleanse to allow my body to heal itself, and not overwork it.
*Pick your timing wisely.  Think about holidays, events, work, etc.  I start a Tiffany Cruikshank yoga workshop today and so I'm only beginning to phase in.  My first day of the actual cleanse will be on Monday, the day after the workshop ends.
*Drink water, drink water, drink water!

in the yoga studio : briohny smyth

this is beautiful to watch...

don't buy what you don't need

Patagonia is at it again!  (Thank goodness...) Boldly telling us this holiday season not to buy stuff we don't need.  Reminding us to put thought into everything we buy for ourselves and others.  Reminding us to take into consideration all the energy and materials that went into that product. 

Take the Patagonia Common Threads Initiative pledge here, and ask yourself, "Do I really need that?"

cosmic love

this florence + the machine song went so well with the falling rain pitter-pattering on my car today while winding through the wet roads.  the video only adds to the fall frenzy of leaves.  however, the ones here are super soggy now...

A falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes 

I screamed aloud, as it tore through them, and now it's left me blind 

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out 

You left me in the dark 

No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight 

In the shadow of your heart 

And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat 

I tried to find the sound 

But then it stopped, and I was in the darkness, 

So darkness I became 

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out 

You left me in the dark 

No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight 

In the shadow of your heart 

I took the stars from our eyes, and then I made a map 

And knew that somehow 

I could find my way back 

Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too 

So I stayed in the darkness with you 

The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out 

You left me in the dark 

No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight 

In the shadow of your heart